It's a Choice

I've been working with many women who are experiencing dramatic life transitions; retirement, change of address, major changes in the home, loss of a loved one-etc. The most important thing I can share is, how you handle these transitions is up to the individual person. I have been very impressed with how many women seek out their support networks and ask for the help they need. Others have put themselves in a most unenviable position of trying to handle their situations without help, this method doesn't seem to be working! It's important to realize that there are going to be transitions, and transitions are difficult enough to navigate through, you don't have to do it alone. You have a choice, there are people and resources available to help. It's important to challenge yourself to be strong enough to ask for help. There are many people out there who want to support others, they have the skills and the motivation but, you need to ask, go out and work to make life better! How you choose to handle life's transitions is up to you, if you believe that life will work out, things will get better and keep moving forward, you will navigate these events successfully. Don't send yourself negative messages, be positive and believe that you will get through the transitions stronger and wiser, ask for help and tap into those people around you waiting to support and love you.

Being Ready

I've been contemplating how to express my thoughts on the topic of "being ready" for the loss of a loved one, especially a partner. During the past month or so, I have lost my brother and two very dear friends. My brother was in his 80's and in ill health so, his death was expected and all the arrangements for his services and his partner had been made. The transition was sad but, smooth.

In the case of my friends, they were 47 and 56 years of age, no one expected them to pass and nothing was done to take care of the transitions. No arrangements made, no real discussion of the practical side of death-what their wishes were, what important information was needed to be sure their loved ones would be provided for, bank accounts in both names, businesses in both names, passwords and important documents organized and easily accessible-none of that was done. I watched as their loved ones and friends scrambled to do what needed to be done, in shock and disbelief they've been working get affairs in order so they could continue on with living, no time to grieve, no time to think, no time to "be"-just trying to survive an unthinkable situation.

I urge everyone to talk about life and end of life issues. Don't wait until something happens, be ready. Make sure these tough discussions have taken place and all is in readiness so that you or your loved ones are not left to struggle through a difficult time as they try to figure out how to access the bank accounts, the computer programs, the bills due, what is to be done for memorial services, did you want to donate your organs, did you want to be creamated or buried, when and where did you want to be after the services...all things that should be arranged and in writing well in advance of a loss.

Take the time to make a Will, then you know you've take care of those that are left behind and given them the "gift" of knowing you loved them so much that, even in death, you prepared for them to be able to transition and adjust to the rest of their lives. Don't wait...it's a sobering reality that all of us face, let's not make it harder on those we love when the Lord does call us home-be ready!

Resolutions

As the New Year was approaching, I heard a lot of discussion about what everyone was making for a resolution for the year. It was amazing, though not surprising, that I heard such things as, "I'm going to lose weight." "I'm going to try harder to be less critical." "I'm going to work harder in school." All these are lofty goals however,as an educator, I began to think about what I have learned about growth and success - build on your strengths!

My wish is that we could all look at ourselves and see what we're doing well and set our goals to build on those things. An example might be, "I am really good at encouraging other people. My goal is to talk to at least 5 people I meet during the week and say something that will build them up."

Building on our strengths keeps us focused on the positive, creating more positives! This year, be kind to yourselves-what do you do well? How will you continue to build on that?

Have a wonderful and reaffirming New Year!

Self Reflection

I've been thinking quite a lot lately about things I do to sabotage my own health and progress. Although I never intentionally set out to make life harder for myself, at times, that's exactly what I end up doing!Have you ever found yourself doing the same thing?

Working with others toward their goals has made me a bit more reflective about my own. I am working toward helping others realize their own dreams and I need to realize mine! I have helped others work on goal-setting, time management, saying no to things that interfere with their personal and work lives -etc.,now I've begun to look at what I've been doing, and not doing!

Dealing with life's happenings, especially during this busy time of year, had, "thrown me off balance" temporarily. I've been talking to other friends and professionals and taken stock of what's going on, how much I can really control and what I need to let go. I have reassessed my goals and corrected my course so I can meet my needs and obligations as well as continue working toward fulfilling my dreams.

Self-reflection is a good thing, it helps put things in perspective, it refocuses us on what's important and sort out what isn't. Taking time to talk things through with trusted individuals can be all anyone needs to recommit to themselves and correct their life's path. It isn't selfish, it's smart to focus on your needs and wants...not only do you function more efficiently and effectively, you're happier, healthier and better company for loved ones, friends, family and all you come in contact with throughout the day! It's important to practice self-reflection and it's a great way to "tap into" your own voice and set a positive example for others so...go ahead, reflect. If you don't know how self-reflection works, ask someone to work with you, invest in yourself and learn, it's a life-long practice that will serve you well! Think about it...