Self Reflection

I've been thinking quite a lot lately about things I do to sabotage my own health and progress. Although I never intentionally set out to make life harder for myself, at times, that's exactly what I end up doing!Have you ever found yourself doing the same thing?

Working with others toward their goals has made me a bit more reflective about my own. I am working toward helping others realize their own dreams and I need to realize mine! I have helped others work on goal-setting, time management, saying no to things that interfere with their personal and work lives -etc.,now I've begun to look at what I've been doing, and not doing!

Dealing with life's happenings, especially during this busy time of year, had, "thrown me off balance" temporarily. I've been talking to other friends and professionals and taken stock of what's going on, how much I can really control and what I need to let go. I have reassessed my goals and corrected my course so I can meet my needs and obligations as well as continue working toward fulfilling my dreams.

Self-reflection is a good thing, it helps put things in perspective, it refocuses us on what's important and sort out what isn't. Taking time to talk things through with trusted individuals can be all anyone needs to recommit to themselves and correct their life's path. It isn't selfish, it's smart to focus on your needs and wants...not only do you function more efficiently and effectively, you're happier, healthier and better company for loved ones, friends, family and all you come in contact with throughout the day! It's important to practice self-reflection and it's a great way to "tap into" your own voice and set a positive example for others so...go ahead, reflect. If you don't know how self-reflection works, ask someone to work with you, invest in yourself and learn, it's a life-long practice that will serve you well! Think about it...

Why Not?

I recently spoke to a group of wonderful, successful women in business. I wanted to talk about what keeps us back from really having it all and...it seems to be us!

It seems that many women have difficulty believing in ourselves! We have a fear of going after something we want because we are not traditionally brought up to be risk-takers. Our focus tends to steer us toward why we can't do something, we focus on what might go wrong and we put our dreams aside for others.

I say, why can't we have it all? We are strong, we have the God-given ability to multi-task and we have the intelligence and what it takes to get things done! What we need to do is to find the support system that exists where we can go to problem-solve, to mentor one another, to encourage risk-taking and to promote ourselves! I believe that women have traditionally felt guilty when trying to establish themselves as entrepreneurs, we want to be "liked" which, sometimes, does not go hand-in-hand with success, sometimes tough choices need to be made, priorities need to be set and one of those priortities needs to be us!

Come on ladies-take a risk and build your dreams, you can do it and I can help support your journey-just ask!

Wellness

I attended a workshop on wellness and had an opportunity to talk about the different areas we need to nuture to stay well. It's important to nurture ourselves nutritionally, spiritually, mentally,physically, sexually and financially. Often times, we manage to neglect one or more areas for a prolonged period of time and we are out of balance.

Ask yourself, what areas am I paying attention to, and when? Why are those particular areas being given more attention, are they more important? What can I do to address the areas of self-nuturing that are being neglected?

It may take some time to pinpoint what areas in our lives are being neglected but, unless we put the time in and "check-in" occassionally, we are harming our well-being. It's easy to forget that we need to take care of ourselves when there are so many people relying on us for so much. Take care of yourself and set time aside, each day, to "check-in" and see what you've done to nuture all the important areas of your life-you'll be happier and healthier and so will everyone else you care for daily!

Need for Support

I spent quite a bit of time talking to a friend of mine regarding the challenge our family is facing. My 64 year old sister was diagnosed with Stage 2 Dementia last November. Of course, I immediately set about learning what I could about this disease, how it would affect my sister and her family. I studied the articles on how to communicate effectively with dementia patients at each stage and reviewed the stages of grief so I could help my brother-in-law and nephew understand more about what's happening.

As much as all this research helped, I shared it with my sister, even though she may not remember it. I copied the information for my family and discussed the information with them. I explored what services may be available in my sister's area and gave that information to her family. I pray every day for them all, and for us all because eventually, my sister will be lost to us-she may be here physically, but she will be gone as far as her wonderful personality and connections are concerned. My friend, having gone through this devastating loss with her dad, called me and talked to me about her experiences. She sent me some wonderful articles to read, she recommended a very up-lifting book that helps me to understand what's coming, she listened and shared what I needed to do to keep everyone safe as this disease continues. Most important, we shared our feelings and made plans for our own relationship and health.

I occurs to me that the Good Lord makes sure the people and resources we need in our lives are near by, we just need to be open to them! Everyone needs support, there is always something going on, usually many things at once, and we often lose track of our own needs. Don't be timid about talking with God,friends, loved ones, life coaches, clergy, counsellors-whoever you feel you can trust and can help support you and help you make a plan for your own self-care, everyone is here for a reason and ready to help. I can't help others if I don't take care of myself and neither can you!

Self-Esteen

I have been paying a lot of attention to the comments women tend to make about themselves, not realizing that others are listening.  It's rare I hear something positive said, usually, it's self-depracating humor.  It makes me think about what messages women tend to "send out to the universe" when they're constantly putting themselves down.  Messages such as, "I'm so clumsy, I can't do anything right." "Years ago, I would have looked pretty good in that outfit, I'm too fat now to wear it, I'd look better in a tent!" "I'm too old to learn anything new, this is all I know how to do."  The list goes on and on...

As I listen, I think to myself, "Wow, I wonder if they know what those messages do to their own self-esteem?" "What do those remarks do to build them up, give them hope, promote positive self-image to friends and loved ones?" "How will negative self-talk create a brighter future for these women?"

It's critcal to feel worthy, capable, loveable and someone who can be counted upon in times of need and desired in times of celebration.  Women, I implore you to think about what you're saying to yourself, even in jest, pay attention-if what you're telling yourself is mostly negative self-talk, try to be aware of that and give yourself more positive messages.  It takes many more positive messages to undo one negative message...give yourself a break. You are just right in God's eyes and in the eyes of your friends and loved ones...remember to pat yourself on the back-your self-esteem will thank you for it!

Holiday Stress

Although this time of year is exciting for many, it is especially stressful.  Remember, if you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of anyone else!  During this busy time remember to find ways to unwind, below are a few suggestions...

Call a friend and have a chat over a nice hot cup of chocolate.  Touching base with someone you care about over a hot drink is almost as good as sitting in the same room with them.  Talk about old times, up-coming plans, daydreams, anything but what you have left to do before the holidays!  This is time to "get away" and you'll be helping someone else to escape with you!

Take a walk, just a 15 minute walk is enough to "ground" you.  If you can get outside and connect with nature-even better! 

Set 20 minutes aside each day to do something you enjoy-read a book, take a nice bath, practice meditation-whatever works for you.  Make sure that you are "unavailable" during this time, don't answer the phone and get someone else to take care of kids and business for that time.

As you're scurrying about, do something nice for someone you meet...open the door, pay for a cup of coffee-smile...doing things for others gives us a lift to and, it's infectious!

These are just some ideas to get through this hectic time, take care of yourself-you're important!